Anxiety: It Doesn't Define Me

It has been two weeks since my last post. Not consistent with my posts, but this is a hobby. It does get put on the back burner when I get busy. So updates...

My budget is a little behind, but since I have some time, it will be looked at today. Still working out some kinks, but Keith and I are on the same page. This should be more of a priority because everything revolves around the money you make. It is also one of the things that causes me the most anxiety. My main goal is just to not avoid it, but at least be mindful of what I'm spending and the bills that are coming out on a regular basis. By doing that last month, I saved myself $200 by catching overcharges.

Speaking of money, I have learned since living in a highly populated area that theft is huge. Since I have lived here, my card number was stolen and more recently since my last post, my car was broken into and my whole purse was stolen. I was in a park under a pavilion for a picnic and the car was less than a 100 yards away. I could see my car from where I was sitting. It was terrible, but thankfully no money has been stolen because my accounts are very secure. Although I am thankful that no-one was hurt and no money was taken from my accounts, I still am at a loss as to who would commit such a crime. Not knowing who they were stealing from? I really wander about people some times and their moral standards and what they think about regarding what is it right from wrong. I don't know their background, but I prayed for them, and forgave them.

My body has been slowly recuperating from all the stress and the anxiety gets better in time, but I do have set backs now and again. This whole experience has really helped me learn a lot about myself. Now that I'm older, my coping skills are better and I don't let this define who I am. I'm bigger than the anixety that haunts me. I have my amazing husband to thank for being there for me whenever I need him and understanding when I open up to him about things that bother me. He is a very caring person and our arguments are rare, but only because our communication skills get better and better as time goes on. He is an awesome husband and will be an amazing father someday. Also, my mother who has always been a part of all my anxiety extravaganzas, I'm so thankful for her. She has been there ever since the first panic attack and I honestly don't know how I would have made it without her snapping me back into reality and making me realize exactly what was going on. She has seen me at my worse, but knows how good I am at my best. I'm so glad she never gave up on me. She encouraged me to keep moving forward and to not let it take control of my life. I can only hope to be half the mother she is.

Fitness wise, I've finally decided to compete in my first show. Meeting with my nutritionist, I feel more confident. Ive lost some muscle mass, but have kept enough to keep prepping. My new diet consists of all food and minimal supplements due to my digestive issues. I'm confident and excited. Glad my husband is doing it with me. I think this will be fun. Updates on this to come later...

That is it for now,
Until next time...