It has been a truly long time since I have posted. Partially due to stress, being busy, friends, family, and the general craziness of life.
I get to see my husband and hang out with him more now that we work the same schedule, we have literally put a halt on our fitness life to focus on friends and family, and I think we have found a new balance that suits us both. It includes working out less, traveling less, and enjoying this beautiful town we live in more. This move has truly been a blessing in disguise. We are working on getting that fitness back into our life, but with a little less extreme outlook with a focus on overall well-being. We are continuing to grow in our relationship and are coming up on our 2 year anniversary, but I always like to add that we have been together for 6 years!! WOW and although we have gone through a lot even during the first part of this year, it has done nothing but bring us closer :) Time with family has also been more enjoyable. Even though it has been less time, it feels like more because it is really quality over quantity. Although quantity has its perks too.
It is still there and I deal with it from week to week. It comes out of the blue most of the time, but I am determined to find an outlet that works for me. Things that are helping is the fact that I am in a routine with my work schedule and the level of stress has decreased by 50%. However, life outside of work has become a bit more difficult. I understand that these things are expected yet unexpected and are over-all easier to deal with in the long run as long as work is not adding to your stress. I have found that having family around has helped with the anxiety at home, but being in public, around a lot of people, my anxiety has increased. I believe, my fear of not being able to control it around other people is the reason it is presenting itself in this way. Those that have anxiety like I do understand that, breaking out in a sweat, feeling like you are going to pass out, and not being able to control your breathing may make you seem a bit strange to other people who have no clue what you are dealing with. It is hard to explain that I am not crazy after something like that happens and even typing this right now makes me embarrassed in trying to explain, I AM mentally stable. That is why I choose not to explain to people what I go through because it never comes out right. I hope that people can be more open with me about these situations, if they can relate. I feel that people should talk more openly about it, so they do not feel alone. Having the few I do, helps me tremendously. And I understand it presents itself in different ways in people such as panic attacks, nightmares, self-harm, insomnia, phobias, etc. This is something that we can get through together and should never go through alone. My door is always open.
Life is a crazy roller coaster and everyone has their issues. This is mine and I decided last year to deal with this openly in hopes of getting through to others to be more accepting of me and others like me. More about what I am doing to deal coming soon. hmmm... Yoga, breathing exercises, bike riding... we will see.
Until next time.